So I spent the next few days by myself. I still couldn't face Harry, and Jack's words cut deep. I was acting like a little kid, and I was scared. But not knowing for certain was hurting more than knowing so I finally went looking for Harry.
He still wasn't at the range and I could feel myself panicking so I walked around downtown hoping Fate would take me to him. Eventually I found a house with his name on it and knocked on the door. No answer. So I knocked harder and called his name and the door swung open a little and still had no answer. I looked in and called him again but all I could see was a colossal mess. There was a broken mirror, empty bottles everywhere and cigarette buts and trash, but no sign of Harry. I could see the dining room table had a dinner for two laid out and I felt my heart sink. We had not discussed a date for the dinner because we were too busy avoiding each other.
I went upstairs and it was more of what I found downstairs. The rear window had been put out and the desk and wardrobes contents were all over the room with Harry's magnum police badge and wallet are scattered across the room. The hipflask was the only thing standing still on the window ledge. Looking out of the window I saw Harry unconcious in the rear of his small garden.
I felt myself panicking even more. Oh gods not again. I can't go through this again, I can't! I couldn't get him to wake up and his breathing was not normal so I called Zee. She came through the shadows and was able to clear the alcohol from his system (really handy trick I must say.) She helped me get him to his bed and left. I sat there next to him and fought back tears. It was all my fault. If I hadn't been such a damn idiot this wouldn't have happened. I felt myself drifting in and out of sleep and awoke when he finally stirred and made some crack about the underworld. I have never been so relieved in all my life.
I asked him why, and he said he was mad at himself, and when he gets like that he gets destructive. I went and got him some water and sat down next to him again. I told him it was my fault and he said it wasn't, I told him then I was the catalyst because I can't be clear with my thoughts, let alone my emotions. He told me he thought he'd lost me. He was angry for thinking someone as "good looking and interesting" as me could ever be interested in someone past his prime, beaten up, and old like him. I don't see him like that though. He is kind, and attentive and handsome and smart...
Anyway I told him I would have gone to Anubis and demanded his soul back if he had died. I want to know him and....be with him. Though I don't think he caught that.
So while he showered and cleaned himself up I cleaned up as best I could. I put some coffee on and by the time he came down it was ready and I was nearly done. He suggested food to help with his hangover and I walked over and kissed him. I had to before I lost my nerve. It took him a little to figure out what was happening...hangover and all that but he kissed me back. I apparently blushed when we pulled apart cause he said I'm cute when I blush.
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